A Cultural Experience

I need to spend a few moments and share with you all what an amazing cultural experience the wedding was. The service in the church was not unlike a wedding service might be in any small rural community in America. The only significant difference might have been the Latvian tradition of flowers. Flowers are an essential part of Latvian culture. There are flowers everywhere. You can buy them on almost every street corner see them growing naturally along the side of the roads as well as in window boxes on the tiny balconies of the ubiquitous soviet built high rise apartment buildings. Elina once told me that flowers were the Latvians way of maintaining a sense of hope and individualism during the communist occupation. Small bright spots in a gray existence. At the end of the ceremony each of the guests lines up and comes to the front and gives the bride and groom flowers and some words of encouragement, I of course had no flowers with me but I got in line anyway… After the ceremony in the church, the wedding was just beginning. The procession then moved on to the traditional part of the wedding.




En route to the traditional part of this wedding the motorcade stopped at 5 different bridges. At each of these bridges Ricky and Lasma got out of the car and Ricky carried her across the bridge. Each bridge had a different meaning. There were seven total and two of them were done after the traditional part of the ceremony.

The traditional portion takes place in a forested setting. There are three musicians/wedding officials that explain each portion of the process which has four aspects one for each of the “elements” of water, earth, air and fire.

The first element is water. As we waited for the bride and groom to arrive, the musicians played traditional Latvian music. Soon Ricky and Lasma arrived via horse drawn cart. The water portion consisted of them cupping their hands and dipping them into a bowl of water and pouring it into each other’s hands then throwing it out over the guests. Monta was doing her best to translate for me but I am afraid that I will have to do some research to interpret the meaning. This aspect also included the couple each taking one end of a a string and twisting it until the string bunched up ( later at the reception, the twists were counted and it was explained that the number of children the couple would have was in some way related to the number of twists in the string)


From the water element we moved further into the forest until we reached a near by clearing. This was to be the location of the “Earth” component. One aspect involved Lasma being draped with a sheet as she sat and the guests all threw a handful of grain at her. The sheet is then carefully removed and the grain is collected from the sheet. Each grain is supposed to represent a blessing for the new couple. This as each portion was accompanied by music and singing.

The second portion of the “Earth” element was very special and it was at that moment that I was reassured that it was the right thing that I came to be at the wedding. In this part of the ceremony the official asked the couple to bring up four special people. Lasma’s parents were immediately asked to come forward and then Ricky asked his Mother who at the last minute decided to come, and then he looked at me and said “Dad” while he motioned with his head. So I proceeded to the center of the gathering and was given one end of a woven strip of cloth while Zoya ( Ricky’s Mom) took the other. Lasma’s parents did the same and we stood opposite each other forming a cross with the two pieces of cloth. We were then directed to walk in a circle as the music played and the people chanted. We then placed the strips of cloth at our feet and stepped back. Ricky then had to skip in a circle not touching the strips as the official chanted some sort of blessing that Monta later told me was to symbolize a “foundation or grounding “of the relationship. Ricky was then joined by Lasma’s Father and one of his buddies from work. The same process occurred and then we moved on to the next element, Air.




As we were walking away I gave thanks to God that Cindy had continued to look for a way for me to go to the wedding. Thinking about this 18 old…boy who now was a father and facing a huge step in his life potentially standing there basically alone with out anyone to stand with him made me glad that God is in control. A couple of days earlier I had listened as Ricky called his father and asked him if he would be at the wedding. I could see the disappointment in his eyes as he hung up. He has only had contact with his father in the last couple of years after God prompted Ricky ti seek him out and forgive him for abandoning him as a boy. This was a huge step that opened relationship for Ricky and his father but it obviously has not resulted in his father reclaiming that role in Ricky’s life.
In the next portion we walked again for about 10 minutes deeper into the forest where we came to a path that led to a giant swing that was between two trees. The swing’s platform was large enough to accommodate both the bride and groom. Some more music…and singing and we were on to the “Fire” potion. Fortunately the “Fire” element was located right next to the swing. By this time no one was up for another long walk. Keep in mind that the time is now about 6:30 PM. The ceremony at the church started at about Noon.

The fire ring was about 10 feet in diameter and had fern branches arranged radiating from the center for decoration. Ricky was directed to build a fire and once he was successful the men al gathered in a circle and danced around the circle chanting and “high five-ing” while shouting “Hey!” by this time Monta and I were both too tired to try and glean any understanding from the ceremony but it was still fascinating. The girls did something similar after that with Lasma and then everyone had some perogies and sweet bread as a snack. This was washed down by some of the purple Latvian juice which I think comes from some extract from Birch bark.

Then, it was time for a long hike back to the cars and a 45 minute drive back to the reception hall which was located out in the country closer to Limbazi. On the drive to the reception there were the final two bridges to stop at. For these Ricky simply walked along beside his new bride. You could see the happy couple was growing tired like the rest of everyone. They were both very glad to see that I had stashed an energy drink in the car in anticipation that I would probably need a boost in order to make it through the entire event. I had to sacrifice and give my last Red Bull to Ricky.

As we arrived at the reception hall the sky was going twilight. It was probably around 10:00 PM. Before we could enter Ricky had to pass a test. Lasma’s father produced what to me looked like a tenor sax case filled with wood and tools. Monta translated as he told Ricky that in order to be part of the family he would need to show that he could build a “house” for Lasma. As Ricky dumped out the pieces of wood his exhaustion was beginning to show. The wood pieces eventually fit together to reveal a quaint bird house and the tired couple worked together to hold and nail the pieces until the bird house took shape. Success!

The next activity was the cutting of a large heart out of a large piece of cloth that was held at the corners by Jack,. Roma, Mairis and Elnars. The couple each had a scisors and started down at the bottom point of the heart that was sewn on out of decorative fabric. They each made their way cutting along the inside of the heart and met at the point in the crux of the top portion of the heart shape. The couple then stepped through the opening they had just cut to the cheers of the crowd. From there they moved to the doorway to the reception hall where an apple hung by a string. Lasma and Ricky were instructed to simultaneously take a bite out of the apple before they could enter and start the festivities.

The tables were arranged around the outside of the room with a 5 piece band at the front of the room. Traditional Latvian food including carbonade and several different salads. Shortly after dinner the small green bottles of Estonian “Bodca” (Vodca) were broken out and distributed to the tables. Fortunately there was a non-alcoholic sparkling cider option as well. The band played such classics as “Villie Nelson’s…On Zee Rhoud Again” and “You Ain Nothing Bud Zee_ound Doug” and everyone danced spinning around the room. The band played until 3:30 AM and then the DJ started playing music until 7:30 AM.

There is a Latvian tradition of the guests “singing” the couple a lullaby in their room as they retire and then waking the newlyweds in the morning with song. Sounds crazy I know but that is how it is done. This is facilitated by the fact that the reception hall has not only a bedroom for the bride and groom but also two bunkhouse style rooms with many beds for the guests as well. So as people tire throughout the evening they simply go upstairs and have a nap. I have to say it is a bit odd and I managed to find a place to rest that was away from the two bunk rooms where the rest of everyone was sleeping. There was some silence from about 7:30 to 9:00 AM and then people started to wake up and soon they were gathering upstairs, accordion blaring to wake the happy couple.

Once they had awoken everyone gathered for breakfast and cake. It was at this portion that I needed to leave. Scott had asked me to have the car back in Riga by Noon so that wee could be on our way to the camp in Kasdonga where Elina and the resrt of the JV staff was working. The Red Mountain group was arriving at camp that afternoon and we needed to transport them from the bus stations out to the camp. It was tremendously difficult to say good bye to Ricky and Lasma not knowing when I would see them again but so very thankful that I had been able to share and support them in this huge step in their lives.

I returned to Riga and I knew I had cut it short because Runzo was waiting (actually ready!) with all the luggage for their family to spend the week at camp. We drove from Riga through the other half of Latvia that I had never been through. After we arrived and got the team from the busses out to the camp we only had a half hour before the students started to arrive. It was so amazing to be back in that environment knowing just how much God would be working in the lives of both campers and team members.

I stayed up late with Elina ans some of the other interns watching DVD episodes of Prison Break, not wanting to loose any time to sleep. It was so hard to say good bye to Elina again and not know when we would see her. We huged and cried for a few minutes and then Scott and I drove the two hours back to the Riga Airport. We left at 3:00AM and arrived at the nearly vacant airport at 5:05 AM.

I had left Ricky and Lasma 20 hour earlier. I gave my cell phone that Elina had lent me to Scott and checked in at the counter. I made my way through security and down to the gate. Two of the Latvian interns had told me of two other Americans that they knew were traveling on my flight. It was not to hard to spot them so I asked the two college aged girls if they were headed to the states and passed on the greetings the interns had asked me to give them. I was too tired to hold much of a conversation so I decided to go back and see if any of the shops or news stands in the gate portion of the airport had opened yet.

As I made my way back to the only open news stand back by security. I thought of the last time I made the trip to latvia alone back in January 06. As I passed the large glass wall that allows you to see the people who were back in the airport lobby, I was reminded of the powerfull image God blessed me with that day.(you can read about it by clicking the January 06 link or here ) After buying all the chocolate my leftover Lats would afford I headded back toward the gate. Looking up I was stunned to findout that God had done it once more. As I looked up I saw two figures dressed in Red on the other side of glass hallway in the Lobby. Ricky and Lasma were there in their reception clothes leanig against the rail.

I had no Idea they would be there. I would have never seen them if I had stayed at the gate, but their they were, hugging each other looking longingly across the hallway and thier faces lept alive when our eyes meet accross the glass walled space that sepparated us. I was so shocked and felt so paralysed simply mouthing "I love you" as they waved and blew kisses to me. Ricky was motioning me towards the security check line back to my right. I moved the 100 feet back to the security area unsure what Ricky had in mind. I could see him speaking to the oficial that checks the boarding passes and allows people into the security line. After some classic "Ricky haggling" he convinced the official to take the large envelope he was holding to the girl at the scanner. She quickly scanned the envelope and motioned for me to come get it. I had been standing about 20 feet back from the metal detector not wanting to unsettle the security agents by walking up the wrong way while Ricky was distracting thier attention. She handed the evelope to me and I thanked her repeatedly. I ran back to the glass wall and continued to smile and wave at the newlyweds who had gone to great extents to make it all the way to Riga after an exhausting marathon wedding.

Next thing I know even more haggling...Ricky is interupting the guy talking on his cell phone standing next to him. As Ricky is pleading with this guy and pointing at me I find myself being handed a cell by the guy next to me. Apparently he had been speaking with the guy Ricky was bugging and now I was able to speak to Ricky one last time. I told Ricky he was crazy and that I loved him so much. I warned him that he better take great care of my Lasma and then I had to go. I was worried that I had missed my plane. One last "I love you" and I thanked the guy who lent me his phone. When I got to the gate I opened the envelope and in it were two full 8X10 photos that had been taken the day before and printed out on heavy photo paper, all in the 20 hours since I had left them.

As I looked at the photos I broke down into tears. I couldn't stop as I though about how much God had just blessed me and how uncertain the future was for this young family. Of course the one and a half hours of sleep in the previous 40 hours was not helping my emotional state. I simply stared at the photo of me praying for them as we entered the church and begged God with all my heart to protect these precious kids.

After boarding the plane I passed out before we even taxied to the runway...